16 Apr

I was 18years old, and contrary to everyone’s belief I was still a virgin (Although I had my first sexual encounter when I was 9 with my landlord’s daughter who was a few years older), but I’m not sure that counts…. Does it? Anyways I just got back from school after a very stressful first semester, and I was really looking forward to xmas with all the pomp and pageantry it entails, siblings coming home with all my nephews and nieces, lots and lots of food and drinks, e.t.c

As I entered my room, I noticed my bed was laid, (It is always filled with clothes X_X) everywhere was well arranged, it looked like someone had been living in the room while I was away at school. I called out to my Mum and asked why my room was this neat “Oh” she replied “One of your cousins is staying with us for his youth service, but He’s home for xmas now, He’ll be back early next year”. I shook my head, honestly dumbfounded and went inside to continue unpacking but not before my curiosity got the most of me to take a look at my supposed “cousin’s” bag.

I unzipped the the pockets on the side, my heart beat increasing as I dipped my hand inside retrieving it almost immediately as I felt a sting, “Needles and stuff” I said out loud, hissing loudly as I reached for the second pocket and then I felt a small carton, I brought it out and it was a pack of condoms, looking so rough. I opened it, there was just a foil wrapper left, I rightly guessed that the remaining two had been put to good use, I quickly zipped the pockets closed as I heard footsteps approaching my room and hid the pack in my dirty laundry.

Later that night, I was in my room alone, everyone watching a Yoruba movie in the sitting room, (Cinema *with deep yoruba intonation*, as I usually called it) and I just started reading a novel by Julie Garwood “Prince Charming” really sensual and lusciously romantic, I kept on reading while my mind drifted back to the pack in my dirty laundry. I couldn’t wait for everyone to go to sleep so I could really examine and learn the intricacies of a condom, it was my first time handling it. I continued reading the novel, getting really engrossed in the “sex” parts and all the detailed descriptions of the female anatomy, my brain helping me to visualize it vividly in color 😉

Not too long after, my Mum called out for the evening devotion, and as soon as it was over I came back into my room, reached for the pack, removed the foil and sat on my bed to examine the condom in full detail. I glanced at my door, making sure it was locked as I opened the foil wrapper to see one of the ugliest, slimiest objects ever, I wondered why anyone would choose to wear this on their manhood, and proceeded to pull down my boxers to check it out on myself. I looked over the foil wrapper for instructions, but found none then I looked at the pack and found the words “Place at tip then roll inwards” I quickly grasped what it meant and I looked at my small tumescent penis, the condom itself would conveniently swallow it; I wondered what I could do to get an erection, then I remembered seeing in a movie an”up-down” movement of the palm on the surface of the penis.

I quickly put back the condom in its wrapper and placed my palm on the tip of my penis, rubbing it downwards and expecting it a miracle, but nothing happened; I intensified the process, accidentally scratching myself in the process,  then I thought of using a “Lubricant”, so I reached for my body cream (Vaseline), applied some on my hand and rubbed it over my penis. Surprisingly it felt good, really good, so I continued rubbing, up and down, up and down and then my Penis miraculously grew to almost 5times its original size, at this time the sensations I was feeling was so much I had to lay back on my bed and just continue…

Scenes from the sex parts of the novel I was reading flashed across my eyes, as my body steadily built itself all my thoughts centering around those scenes in the novel, the sensation was just beyond words, my whole body stiffened as I felt a weird feeling in my penis like I wanted to pee, but I couldn’t hold it in hard as I tried. All I could do was intensify the speed with which my hand was rubbing my penis, squeezing and rubbing at the same time, “Tolu” I heard my Mum call out to me, I sighed as my Penis went limp and hung sadly as I hastily reached for my towel and went to her room. All she wanted was for me not to forget to switch off the light before I slept, I said I heard and went back to my room to try to continue my adventure.

As I placed my hand on my penis, it responded and I started again, rubbing up and down, squeezing a little and rubbing up and down but after a while I started feeling an ache in my arms, and nothing was happening. I reached for my body cream and applied more to my palm and continued rubbing, still my penis was just tumescent. Then I had a brain flash, “Why not read my novel and continue?” I immediately reached for the book and started reading the sex parts while I pumped myself vigorously, scratching myself repeatedly but not minding.

I started feeling my erection again, and then glorious sensations started flooding my body system as I continued rubbing, squeezing and pumping, my body stiffened again as I automatically dropped my novel and concentrated on my penis. I felt that urge once more and this time I knew even if my Mum called, I would be in no position to answer as the feeling was just heavenly, the veins in my penis were so noticeably thick, and for a brief second I was horrified that I would pee on my bed but as if to answer my question my penis jerked a little as some creamish/white fluid spilled off the tip, splattering my stomach and then gushing out continuously into my palm as I experienced my first “Climax”. Thus began my love affair with “Vaselina”…. 😀 😀


33 Responses to “Vaselina……”

  1. thefemaleking April 16, 2012 at 10:26 am #

    Okay this is………

  2. hardehyi April 16, 2012 at 10:29 am #

    Re u trying 2 say ur love affair wit “Vaselina” is still on ???

    • teekellz April 16, 2012 at 10:40 am #

      Rara oooo Ahn ahn now!!!!

  3. BimbyZ April 16, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    LMAO!!!!! Are u kidding me? Couldn’t help laughing. Vaselina… Nice one

  4. @eminitybaba April 16, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    Lol. I weh tell mummy for you

  5. TM.Lucia April 16, 2012 at 10:58 am #

    A very graphic account of such a sensitive subject. A very important trait of a good writer and you have it. A brilliant piece.

  6. Ekwe April 16, 2012 at 11:06 am #

    Loooool. this is so nice. haha

  7. idris April 16, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    Funny piece, good writer…nice, make I read ur other posts!!!

  8. Franchise April 16, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    U still bashing the bishop mate? nice one

  9. haykay April 16, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

    Best wanka of †ђξ year………shey ur love affair don end abi na forever relationship????

    Sha know dat wanking Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ not good

    • teekellz April 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

      Ended a long time back ooo

  10. guzeshow April 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

    Lolz, cool story

  11. Ope April 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

    Okay . I enjoyed the writing . Your story telling is a gift. Yh that first experience counts. Great write up

  12. WaleEvarBlazing April 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm #

    LMAO !!! Madt Guy !! We All Had That Fucking Feeling Once !! Keep Up The Good Work Bro

  13. msphumi April 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm #


  14. SlimShowz April 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

    What z dis?

  15. ebuoe April 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm #

    Lool … Legendary wanker

  16. stifftohbahd April 17, 2012 at 10:23 am #


  17. princcehood April 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    Diaries of a Wanker! I am sure that was not the last time…. You have probably moved on to a higher level…
    Awon omoge adugbo daran

  18. tolzzzz April 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Ebuoe Likes this Post…..Nice one, u wankers be getting more popular by the day

  19. ayo April 17, 2012 at 7:19 pm #

    Odikwa very sexual T…..

  20. notjustok April 18, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    Don’t tell me, you are in love with vaslina

  21. faith olowookere April 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    This is really creative and a true life experience for a lot of adolescents. I like the fact that the blog captured a typical adolescent’s reasoning and cravings…it would earn more credit if positive suggestions on this issue is highlighted by the writer so that it wouldn’t in any way seem like a piece of advice to young people who come across this. This is indeed a beautiful piece. You can join other activists on to share creative write ups like this.

  22. @courtney_winkn May 1, 2012 at 12:15 am #

    I’m sure dis is ur personal story……..*coughing

  23. missodun May 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Graphic nd a little eewy..buh brilliant writin all d same

  24. Pensée May 3, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    oh wow! definitely entered into a boys world on this one, *flushing crimson*. in it’s own way, it’s quite epic…i like the “unbashfulness” used, no cutting corners or wathaveyou…wow.

  25. doteroms July 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    contrary to what u think, i actually found this post really racy but practical… you were able to capture an experience and educate ur readers in so doing. #thumbsup

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