Weird

3 May

The day couldn’t have started better, I woke up to the rays of the sun shining brightly into my room, bouncing off the walls, spiraling colors all over my bed as I lazily pulled aside the covers to start my day. I reached for my Blackberry, while saying a silent “thank you” prayer to God for the gift of life and silently reproaching myself for not properly having a devotion before attending to my phone, but well………… I unlocked my phone and quickly browsed through all my messages not paying attention to any of them except “Chioma’s”, Chioma and I had been talking, chatting for over a month now and we were really into each other. I got to know her by mistakenly dialing her number instead of a friend’s number who I intended giving a strong piece of mind; the guy had been changing numbers to avoid my call and several times after I’m able to eventually reach him, he changes his number again.

I dialed his new number that fateful day not knowing I had made a mistake, typing “5” instead of “3” thus connecting to Chioma’s line instead; I didn’t even give whoever was on the line a chance to talk, immediately the call was connected and the person picked up, I vented my anger on “him” going on and on about his dubious ways and other not too friendly attitudes, using several words that are really painful. By the time I calmed down, all I heard was “Are you done?” in a female voice, thinking the voice belonged to his girlfriend, I was about giving her a piece of mind too, chiding her for listening to him and picking up his phone, acting like he was not around and so on, when abruptly she disconnected the call. I was so infuriated, I called back severally but she wouldn’t pick up, by this time I could taste the rage I felt in the back of my throat, I tried to calm myself down, waited a few hours then called “his” number again. This time around I waited to hear “him” talk, but all I heard was some girlish laughter and then a very cheerful “Hello, who’s speaking pls”, “Hi” I replied “This is Akin, can I speak to Seyi please?” I forced the “please” through my teeth because being polite was the last thing on my mind now. She cheerfully answered “wrong number” “wait, wait” I quickly replied “Before you disconnect the call, just tell him I know he’s there, that he should keep hiding I’ll find him and we’ll even the scores then” “Thank you” I added. She laughed and replied “Akin, you sure do have a score to settle with whoever this Seyi is, but I don’t know him, and I don’t even want to know him with the way you’ve been threatening, I’m sure you’ll do some serious harm to him” she laughed after saying this, and I wondered if I heard a trace of igbo in her voice, if there was one thing I knew about Seyi, he loathed Igbo girls, he doesn’t ever want to have any connection whatsoever with them. I gently asked her “Are you igbo pls?” she replied almost immediately “Yes, I’m chioma” I sighed out loud as I tried figuring out where I would start my apology from “I had no i-i-i-d-dea” I stuttered, “I’m so sorry, really sorry” I said gritting my teeth together as I said it, I really hated saying sorry.

We struck it off from there, though she wanted to hang up right after my apology, I convinced her to talk to me for some time, just to get to know each other better ;-). By the time we were done talking, I knew her surname, her pet name, I knew she schools in Benin, lives in Benin too, I knew all there was to know about her from that first conversation. (Bad like that 😉 ). She in turn asked about me, what I did for a living, why I was so furious with my “friend” she even convinced me to let go of whatever he did to me and just move on, which I eventually did, but not after treating the guy’s fuck up sha oo :-D.

I got her Blackberry pin, her yahoo id, whatsapp and all, we were inseparable from that moment onward, we were always chatting, texting, and talking, she became my obsession and I hers too. At first she wouldn’t use her picture on her chats but then I eventually prevailed over her to, and when she did, I was astounded, she looked so amazing; fair skinned, brown eyes, luscious lips,… she looked too good to be true, she is indeed a beauty to behold. Our conversations centered around anything and everything, from religion to sports (She’s a Proud Arsenal Fan too ^_^ ), we were destined to meet each other, she loved reading books, she writes, she loves music and she has a wonderful voice too, I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.

When I suggested that she come to Lagos to see me, my heart was in my mouth as I waited for her reply; Most of the time when I asked her serious questions, she would be mischievous and leave me hanging, teasing me endlessly while I waited but this time the answer was instant, “Yes”. I was surprised, my joy knew no bounds, I was so elated, I sent her a message full of mushy “lovey-dovey” words, she replied in kind. We started making preparations, how long was she going to stay?, where was she going to stay? and other things… 😉 , we concluded she would stay with “Yours truly”, spending the weekend with me and catching the first flight to Benin, the next Monday morning.

As I read through her morning message to me, I smiled as I saw at the end of the message “Can’t wait to finally see you”, I was about sending my own message to her (We had a tradition of sending each other mails, first thing every morning :-X ) when my phone rang, it was her, she was on her way to the Airport and would be leaving for Lagos by 9am. I told her I would be there to pick her up and she disconnected, but not before she told me how much she was looking forward to seeing me. I quickly set about rearranging my 2bedroom apartment to have the semblance of a sane person living in it, I only made use of one room, the other filled with clothes and several other stuff that I never got round to unpacking from my previous apartment.

9am and I was out of the house, spotting a white Polo shirt, blue Jeans with Ferragamo slippers and I “knacked” my Ray Bans looking casual yet dashing ;-). I drove straight to the Airport, picking up some flowers along the way just for the fun of it, I was sure she’ll laugh at me after but I didn’t care I was in Love. Her plane landed right on time, and she breezed through security and was out even before I got a place to park in the Airport, she called and asked where I was and I directed her to where I was parked.

When I saw her, I thought I had died and gone to heaven, every other lady paled in contrast to her, her beauty out shone them all; she was wearing an Orange Gown with a pair of Jeans, matching heels that any lady would kill for, with Marc Jacobs sun shades that made her look just fabulous. I waved at her, silently praying that I won’t be embarrassed and dialed her number just to be sure, she disconnected the call and waved back, smiling at me as I covered up the distance between us and damning all onlookers I hugged her and crushed my lips to hers immediately. I heard her gasp at first then she warmed up to me and held the back of my head as we deepened the kiss, it wan’t until I heard the sound of a camera snapping that I stopped and stepped back, picking her luggage and handing over the flowers. “Aaaaww, so sweet” she said, sniffing at them and kissing me once again.

Anyone could ride the proverbial horse in my stomach and not miss a step, I was practically on cloud nine as I drove, looking at her by my side and thanking God for my good fortune. I was about climbing the third mainland bridge when she asked “Can we take another route dear?” “Why?” I replied, “it is much shorter if we go via this route, and I really can’t wait for us to get home” I continued as I accelerated and made for the link road that connects to the bridge, she kept quiet after this and just leaned back in her seat smiling at me.

After 5minutes that I’d been speeding down the Third Mainland bridge, I suddenly noticed that her expression had changed, her face was looking very pale, white like a diseased person, I quickly parked and asked her “Is everything alright?” as she opened her mouth to talk,  her teeth started falling off, right before my eyes Chioma was aging. her fine skin started peeling, and it started becoming scaly to touch. I was overcome with dread as black hair started withering right before my eyes. I looked into her eyes and what I saw in there sent chills down my spine, they were black, very black, there was no difference between the iris and the retina, I was petrified at such transformation. She reached her towards me with her hands, by this time I was reaching for the car handle, ready to bolt out immediately, but I was transfixed to my seat, I couldn’t move, I was stuck because of the seat belt; as I reached over to unlock myself, I noticed her beautiful feet had changed into the tail of a fish, flapping about as she neared me almost touching my skin. The seat belt remained locked even as I tried hard to unlock it and get out of the car, by now I could feel the touch of her hand, I dared myself to look but my head wouldn’t respond to the command, I felt the scaliness under my chin as she lifted my head up, willing me to move.  “Chi…” was the last thing I said before I felt my brain shut down, all I could do was look on as she silently leaned forward mouth wide open, claiming first my mouth, then growing wider as it engulfed my head and my being in its entirety……..

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32 Responses to “Weird”

  1. hardehyi May 3, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    LMAO!!!!!!!! *rollin n laffin* LWKMD

  2. @courtney_winkn May 3, 2012 at 10:54 am #

    Lol dat was creepy 🙂

  3. Emeka May 3, 2012 at 11:01 am #

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!! Na mammy water b dat? Abi wetin?

  4. biola May 3, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    nice1.afric magis tins
    i knw knw say u sabi eng lik dis o oxford dictionary lo she o

  5. stifftohbahd May 3, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    Av lived this scene so many times…. Well done… Good placement of words without killing the content!

  6. Morgan May 3, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    LOOL…I like. first time here..your recent posts are really good too

  7. horlar May 3, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    Okay…this is really nice and cool. I love it. Thumbs up Tolu

  8. missodun May 3, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    OMG Tolu ur insane…nyc african pace tho…u have to teach me sometym

  9. BimbyZ May 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    OMG! U’ve got to be kidding me. i was already looking forward to a nice time with chioma…too bad, ℓoℓ. Nice one. Keep the stories coming. 😉

  10. puffye May 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

    Creepy…iLike! 🙂

  11. tialohluwah May 3, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

    U no go use ray bans finish us sha…
    Very funny stuff though, I like…

  12. tialohluwah May 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm #

    u no go use ray bans kill us sha…
    Very funny stuff, I like

  13. oriola david May 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    Great read thumbs up!!!

  14. seyi May 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

    Lol.. There is a price 4 evryfin.. Nyc story line. Try a shot wiv superstory

  15. horar gold May 3, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

    I actually fell in love wiv love whilst reading D̶̲̥̅̊α̲̅t̶̲̥̅̊…U̶̲̥̅̊ really A̶̲̥̅̊rε̲̣̣̣̥ A̶̲̥̅ clown falling in love. Wiv A̶̲̥̅ fish???=)) =)) =)) laffº°˚ ˚°º≈wanº°˚ ˚°º≈tearº°˚ ˚°º≈myº°˚ ˚°º≈belleº°˚ ˚°º≈=)) =)) =))

  16. Kudayisi Temitayo May 3, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    nice one bro….not bad atall….

  17. Pensée May 3, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    nyc storyline, i donno if i actually wanted you guys to hit it off cos there would be nothing new in the story, but the end was phenomenal, hopefully, there would be a sequel to it…A.

  18. Skipper May 3, 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    Guy!! This is scary man! Story on point tho.

  19. ebuoe May 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    LMAO … Dude .. U shld b a screen writer for nollywood .. Dey hv a knack 4 dis sort of tin .. Enjoyed it sha … Evn tho d end had “WTF??” Written all ova it

  20. nick May 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    Whao! Great write up a brilliant one tho! Blind date just lost another score

  21. TheManya May 3, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    Lmao… Nice write-up mayne… Real nollywoody 😀

  22. phurlabby May 3, 2012 at 7:55 pm #

    great stuff, love the anticlimax and the pace was just brilliant. I do however have to point out the 3rd paragraph, ‘i knew she schools in Benin, lives in Benin’ can be replaced with ‘I had learnt she was schooling and residing in Benin’. all in all it is a brilliant write-up

  23. teekellz May 4, 2012 at 8:06 am #

    @phurlabby thanks man, but if you read from the beginning of d paragraph, I was trying to intone that I knew all about her from the phone conversation
    @themanya @ebuoe @seyi @biola all of una wey dey talk say na Nollywood things…… Lmao, at all o, Nollywood can’t be this creative *pops collar* hehehehe
    @Pensee @Morgan @Horlar @kudayisi Temitayo @Horar Gold @Bimbyz @Missodun @tialoholuwah @skipper @stiffthohbad thank you all for reading and enjoying 😉
    We Thank God

  24. funmi May 4, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    Wow! That was wow. Great suspence n use of words too! I likey

  25. @CAASSEY May 4, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Haba Mana Tolu!!!!!!!

  26. MzJUDDIE May 4, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    Oh jeez very creepy

  27. arcbod May 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

    That’s touching u knw,

  28. @Oluwa_kemmy May 4, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

    Lmaoooooo!!!!!!!! Jeeeeeeez…….nyc 1…. 😀

  29. noel May 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    As if I knw say na woman go kee u! :p … Cool sha sha!

  30. noel May 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm #

    Nd y mami water go use plane wen she fit swim come lag???????? Lmao! No mind me jare… (Y)

  31. Portable May 24, 2012 at 1:10 pm #

    Laff=Ddon useº°˚=D=))°ºmy intestineº°˚ ˚=D=))°º≈do slim-beltº°˚ ˚º=D
    Creepy but hilarious. Great work pal.

  32. viola October 10, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

    really good, that was creepy.

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