Tights n Camisoles 1

11 Jun

I’m supposed to be writing the concluding part of “Aftermath”…………………. I know, but I just couldn’t resist the urge to post this after witnessing a couple of event this past weekend. Its not really a story per say….. But all the same Enjoy……………………… 😉

The first time I saw a “Tight”, I was between 5 & 9 years old (can’t say specifically), it was during one of the Olympic games on TV and I was fortunate to see it without been chased out of the room (which was the norm…). I noticed the way it grabbed the asses of the athletes, especially the female ones and I wondered why all of them looked so skinny, yet sexy in the ass. I couldn’t bring myself to check out the male athletes, their bodies were just rippling with muscles, taking all my childish attention & making me wonder to myself when I would develop those kind of muscles (I still don’t have them though X_X). The “Tight” really is tight, and it always brought a still unanswered question to my  mind “How on earth do men cope with Tights?” I’m not just talking about the way it looks on their body, but the fact that it cramps up anything and everything (If you know what I mean) it is important to note that the Penis and the sack needs a lot of breathing space, yet they choke them all up. Why can’t Men wear something “free-er” yet better in athletics than something that could have a negative long lasting effect on you. But this is not even why we are here; Now I’m 20something years old and the number of “Tights” I’ve seen in my lifetime is incredibly enormous; and I’m not even talking about the male variety, but the female one. Ladies have a way of making “Tights” look fashionably sexy, you almost forget that it is in actual fact a very annoying piece of clothing. I’ve seen “Tights” in my house, at my friends’ house, in the car, on a bike (Don’t even get me started on this one…), on the road, practically everywhere I go. The only question that comes to my mind for the ladies is “Why Tights?” They’re so ugly, so annoying and most importantly, a practical “P-Blocker: Trust Me If she’s wearing Tights under those skirts or Jeans, You sure as hell ain’t getting none, unless She really wants to……. I’ve been in so many awkward situations with “Tights” so much that I don’t just hate it, I Loathe it with passion. Its elasticity is practically beyond human comprehension, it arranges the flabbiest of thighs and make them look so good, until you remove it and all those “extra” chunks of fat spills on your hands. Ladies feel so comfortable in them, I just had to try one of them out (Just for the fun of it X_X) and trust me, it is not an experience I ever want to try again.

I pulled them on that fateful day, and went about my chores, seeing as I was the only one at home; by the time I was done, I was so tired I fell asleep in the living room, with the tights still on. I woke up to one of the most embarrassing moments of my life; I heard a persistent knocking on the gate and I quickly made a dash for the gate, forgetting that I had the tights on…… (Nuffsaid) I’m yet to convince some of my friends completely that I’m very straight and not Gay. As if that wasn’t enough, my penis was so fried, it looked totally like a new born baby’s and I had to take a very cold shower to at least bring it back to normal, practically pulling on it in the process. As a result of this, I have my own definition of tights as: a contraption designed to hide the truth in a woman’s bodice, and to keep out wandering hands (;-)). The minute I start making out with a girl and I feel the silkiness or whatever material the “Tights” come in, I automatically lose interest, regardless of what she does after that, it would take a very high stage of “Konji” or “Highness” to make me continue with her.

Let me quickly add here that another extremely annoying thing about “Tights” is the fact that Ladies tend to forget it is also an important part of their underwear, thus they tend to neglect it a lot; wearing it for days on end without so much as washing it or even repairing the “wear n tear”. They’re so comfortable strapping it on like that; Torn, smelly, dirty, wool sticking out of several places, e.t.c. Some have holes in strategic places that make you wonder how exactly they got torn in such sensitive areas but any direct question to that effect would automatically label you an “Enemy for Life”, and note that such a question would also place you in the Friend Zone till eternity. (There are some questions you must never ask a lady if you know you want to get down with her….)

After all is said and done, let me just add that just because I loathe tights don’t necessarily mean I don’t like the way it “arranges” and “packages” the way a girl looks; it always make their asses firmer, so if she walks by and she’s well endowed in that region, you have no choice but to notice, even if you don’t want to. I love a Girl who knows what’s good for her, what makes her look good and does it, puts it on; but I just want to say that I wish there was an alternative to “Tights”.

PS: Let me know what you feel about “Tights” as they call it, feel free to add your own reasons and all……. 😉 😀

………. To Be Continued………….

 

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17 Responses to “Tights n Camisoles 1”

  1. ifueko June 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    Interesting read! I don’t like tights too 🙂

  2. hardehyi June 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    Dude, I know u want me to say ma opinion n ere is it………….. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!

  3. callmeolajide June 11, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Never Done A Girl In Tights Before Tho’..

  4. olalonpe June 11, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    I wear tight nd I’ve got a firm body wit out em..nd all d things u listed doesn’t apply to mi one bit (˘̯˘ )

  5. @courtney_winkn June 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

    Cool story (˘̯˘ )

  6. @courtney_winkn June 11, 2012 at 3:32 pm #

    raolat. ion wear dem doe cos ion nid dem

  7. BimbyZ June 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm #

    God knows how much i hate it. It used to make me feel so uncomfortable in secondary school and i was like why this discomfort, abeg i no do. Gosh, i nearly laffed my lil butt out. Crazy write-up. Crazy! Tolu welldone.

  8. bintu June 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    Lmao,funny post,I dun like’em α̲̅πϑ I dun wear’em

    • ƮѻѻȠƌæ June 12, 2012 at 6:07 am #

      ( ˘˘̯) (˘̯˘ )…….yhu knw Ʋ aff ’em

  9. funmi June 11, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    I dnt like tights I love em. Am slim what do yu expect.

  10. ohyeen June 11, 2012 at 6:02 pm #

    Lol…u’re “kinda” right sha.Tights can be annoying but it does a lot for girls especially those with flappy thighs

  11. @MinkyTheGooner June 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    Tights for me. Turn off!

  12. oriola david June 12, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    Gud read!

  13. pinkbeebenita June 12, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    LoOooool.

  14. crazypinkheart June 12, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    this post just made me smile from inside out…(mainly cus im just waking up and im too lazy to laugh) very funny…. very real… “until you remove it and all those “extra” chunks of fat spills on your hands” #eviL.. im overtalking… lovely read…
    ps underwear sef na govt wrk,talk more of tights…HATE ‘EM

    • teekellz June 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm #

      Glad I could make you smile……….. 😉

  15. teekellz June 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    Thanks y’all really appreciate the comments

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