Tag Archives: Tolu Oke

Letter to my Next

10 Feb

Dear (Insert Name Here),
I hope this missive meets you in good health. I’m sure you’re already making some conclusions about me just by reading this but let me assure you; I am not a geek, neither am I a weirdo nor am I jobless. I am just a guy who has been let down so many times that I’ve lost count. I know you don’t quite know me yet, we probably have only mentioned each other a few times on Twitter and liked each other’s pictures on Instagram but I know you and I know we’ll be the best of friends in a little while.
I see us having a pretty amazing relationship, but before that can happen I’d like to give you a few pointers as to the kind of person I am so you don’t misinterpret my gestures.

First, I am unashamedly sapiosexual. The fact that you’re reading this is prove that I’m attracted to you not only because you’re beautiful but because you’re intelligent. I love ladies that challenge me and I’m very sure you’ll be worth the chase. Let me say however that so long as we’re together, my ‘Sapiosexuality’ is turned off. Nevertheless don’t take the fact that I love challenges too serious because as much as I love challenges, I hate trying too hard. I can be very persistent with ladies but when I don’t see changes or ‘Green lights’ as I like to call them, I move on.

Second,

I am a romantic. A young boy with an old school attitude. Yes I exude the ‘cool guy, playboy, all chicks man’ aura but trust me I just want to love and be loved back for who I am. Beneath the tough exterior is a little boy begging to be loved, I hope we last long enough for you to see this side of me. I am the ‘Good Morning, Good Night’ text messages kind of guy, (Yes I’m old fashioned) but I know you can handle that because if you couldn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. I love surprises even though I act like I loathe them with a passion, I am a spur of the moment, spontaneous, ‘ life is too short’ guy so pardon me if at times I spend lavishly albeit foolishly on you. I won’t try to woo you with money or material things whatsoever so if you’re expecting such, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’ve learnt the hard way that a guy shouldn’t be too forthcoming about his financial status to a lady who isn’t in love with him or has agreed to date him. It is bound to be a problem in the nearest future.

Third, I love my Mum to death. I don’t think this needs further explanation. I just love that woman with a passion that is unparalleled. You cannot and must not compete for her affection with me. I promise to love you with the whole of my being but please do NOT try to compete with my Mum, you will FAIL.

In conclusion, I want you to know that this is not a love letter, you’ll get that when the time comes. It is just my way of ‘putting it all out there’. There are a lot of things I feel you should be prepared for when it comes to being my girlfriend but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Just know that I am definitely, irrevocably, helplessly attracted to you.

P.S: Another important thing is that I love writing. After God, my Mum (Family), Food and Music, writing comes next. You’ll be receiving a lot of messages, emails, dms from me. I just love putting how I feel into words. This is probably the Tenth or Eleventh missive I’ve written since our first interaction ever. I hope I don’t come on to you too strong that you’ll be scared and decide to place me in one of the many zones you ladies have for guys nowadays. I don’t really function well in any zone except the ‘Friends with Benefits’ zone. So let’s leave our options opened for now, and enjoy each other’s company till we get to the next stage. Have a beautiful week ahead.

Without wax
Tolu Oke.

Fire!!!

13 Jan

In the course of our lives, we all get to a particular stage when it seems like we don’t know anything. To everyone around us, we’re dumber than dumb. All our decisions which seem brilliant at conception and inception almost always end up biting us in the rear. This shows how absolutely unpredictable this life we live in is. Anyways before I start digressing, let me go straight to what I have to say today…..

This post was inspired as a result of some events that happened to the ‘character’ in recent times.

***

I am the only girl in a family of five with four older brothers, my closest sibling is five years older than I am and most times when I think about this I wonder ‘was I conceived by mistake or was I an afterthought?’ Because five years is really no joke and after four children one would expect my parents to have put a stop to child bearing, my mum especially, but that’s a story for another day. Anyways being the lastborn and hard as it is to admit this, I am spoiled silly, (show me the lastborn who would readily agree to being spoilt) but not in the conventional ‘lovey-dovey’ way. Although there’s nothing I want that I don’t eventually get even if I was refused at first, so long as its not outrageously expensive or stupid. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon, infact a wooden spoon accurately describes it better but times, like they say change and when it did, we became more comfortable.
Of all my siblings, I’m the only one who on finishing from a private secondary school, proceeded to a private university and this is where it all begins.
You see, I lost my Mum when I was still in secondary school so my transition to womanhood was and is still a bit faulty, for instance I still don’t understand why I can’t clear my throat or scratch an itchy bum in public?. I still feel more comfortable in a good pair boxers than thongs, tights, G-strings and ‘what-have-yous’. I am not a tomboy though, I have all the right curves in the right places and I’m yet to meet that Guy with blood pumping through his veins who wouldn’t give me a second look when I walk past. Though I learnt the hard way how not to dress from friends, roommates, coursemates in the university, I must say I learn fast and well. I now ‘rock’ the best designers I can afford at least, and no matter how shabby I want to look, I tend to stand out.
I never knew I had real fair skin until I got into the university and learnt how a lady really takes care of her skin, and by the time I came back home for the first semester holidays, I had gone from a ‘-1’ to a well rounded ‘8’.
Anyways that’s enough background information for now.

***

I’m in my final year now and trust me a lot of water as gone under the bridge like they usually say and though there’s a lot I want to tell you about myself, (If Tolu Oke will allow) like my first real kiss, (Real because the earth really shook) my first sexual mistake ( Trust me, it was a real mistake) and more; but I’ll just seek for your advice on this and maybe if ‘He’ allows, you will be hearing more from me in the nearest future.
‘Final year no be beans’ like the saying goes is so true, the ups and downs of university life, 100-400/500 (as the case may be) can get very overwhelming and final year brings a welcome sigh of relief. For all those who have experienced it, you all know what I’m talking about. Final year is not a joke though, far from it you work your ass off to make sure you don’t have any surprises, its the hardest, most stressful year in the university but it is good stress. So I’m in my final year, seen it all, the good, the not so good, the bad, and the ugly, not quite done it all though close. Anyways its the final semester and though we’ve resumed, I’m at home; what I usually do is to go to school, finish my registration and come back home for a week is two before resuming fully. My dad who is now retired from civil service took up private practice as a consultant in one of our church’s hospitals in another state, so it was only my immediate brother currently serving in Lagos who was at home when I got back.
‘Pls put on the generator’ I call out to him from the kitchen where I was preparing our supper of rice and fried plantain, he had prepared the stew before I came so all I have to do is warm it.
‘They’ll soon bring the light back’ he answers
‘Ok’ I reply and continue cooking.
You see, Phcn light had been spoilt for close to two years in our neighbourhood and it was fixed recently so its availability is still very predictable.
True to his prediction, they restore power as I am dishing out the food and I quickly tune the Tv back to the program I was watching before it went off.
My dad is home for the weekend, so evening devotion is a must and as soon as its over, I resume my position in front of the Tv. My addiction to the Kardashian family knows no bounds, soon as they became a topic of discussion among my friends I made it a point of duty to keep myself updated on their activities.
I’ve had a long day, the stress of registration in school, combined with traveling and last but not least cooking and predictably soon, I doze off on the couch and by the time I wake up, I see my dad switching off the Tv and decoder but I stop him from switching off the main socket because we were charging some rechargeable lamps at the socket.
I enter my room and fall asleep immediately…

Very soon, I hear my dad’s voice as he shouts my name and I’m out of bed immediately, opening my eyes to a room filled with smoke. Confused, I find my way to the sitting room to find it even worse than my room, I can hardly see anything but soon my eyes adjusts and I see my dad trying to locate the source of the smoke.
One of the lamps we were charging had caught fire and the whole house was covered in smoke. Apparently, the lamp got too hot as a result of the continuous flow of current into it, so it burst into flames. My dad soon douses the flames with a bucket of water but still instructs my brother to switch off the main supply switch into the house.
It is 4.37a.m and we are in our compound, all the windows in the house opened, the back door opened, just to let the smoke out,  my dad and brother staring daggers at me as we wait for the smoke to clear out. They don’t have to say anything, their looks say it all ‘IT’S YOUR FAULT’ it screamed.

Please how is it my fault?

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